Is Your Balance As Good As It Used To Be?

 Probably not.  Mine sure isn't.  There are many reasons why balance decreases as we age.  Vision changes, muscles weaken, nerves become less sensitive and sometimes medications or health conditions can play a role.  So what should you do?  If your doctor approves, keep moving.  The old saying "Use it or lose it" is still true.  Here are a few things I have personally done to help keep good balance and muscle strength,

First, my mom started about 20 years ago getting down on the floor every day, then getting up without the use of any props, just her hands!  It sounds easy, and it is easy for me, but many people in their 70's simply can't get up off the floor.  My mom started doing it when her husband had numerous falls and could never get up.  She's been doing it every day for years, and still does it daily at 103.  Getting up off the floor helps build strength and maintain balance.

One thing I have been doing for years (I used to do it while waiting to check out at the grocery store, but since I now do self check out, I do it on my own.)  I stand on one leg for about 30 seconds (If I can), then change to the other leg.  I do this 3 times a day.  It's really great for balance.

Of course yoga is one of the best activities for overall health, muscle strength and balance, and can be done at almost any activity level.  '

Tai Chai is another activity for strength and balance.

We have to accept the fact that balance will decrease as we age, but there are many activities we can engage in to maintain our balance.  Even walking, or better yet, trying to walk on a straight line (like taking a sobriety test) help maintain what we've got for as long as we can.

What Can We Learn From Our Young Grandchildren?

 I just spent a few wonderful days with my 14 year old granddaughter, Elsa.  What did I learn from her?  She is looking for the same things I was looking for at her age, like finding her identity, seeking independence, wanting to fit in.  However, the environment is very different.  She is highly connected through technology and very comfortable with it.  She is more open to discuss topics such as mental health, diversity, and social issues than previous generations.  She values authenticity and self-expression through clothing, music and online content.  She appears independent still relies heavily on family for guidance and emotional support.

She talks about the future a lot.  She has her life pretty well mapped out.  I don't remember being concerned about anything other than tomorrow, when I was that age.  She loves to make TikTok videos and post them for her friends to see.  This is how they communicate.

Every generation thinks the next one is growing up in a strange new world.  The tools change, the music changes, and the slang changes, but kids do not change that much.  My challenge as a grandmother is not to try to understand their technology, but to remember my own adolescence.  When I do this, I stop focusing on how much I hate the amount of time she spends on her phone doing what I consider nothing, and realize that I did silly things when I was her age too, and that she's just a wonderful young lady that looks forward to the future and wants to fit in with friends.

It's Almost Time To Vote!

 I was watching Fareed Zakaria a while ago, and he was talking about how the older generation (yes, that's us) is controlling elections, or should I say, deciding the outcomes of elections.  That's because senior voters (over 65)account for between 55%-77% of all voters.  The 77% number refers to off presidential years, while the latter number is for presidential elections.  So what that means, is that candidates are looking at senior interests and gearing their campaigns to get their vote.

What we need to do is get younger voters to the polls, but how that is done is the question.  I was with my granddaughter not long ago.  I told her I was involved in marches and in getting people to the polls.  She didn't know how she could do anything.

Young people are not yet thinking about how they will afford a house, what they'll do about health care.  Well, some are, but many are not, and somehow we have to get younger people involved in issues that affect them.  Until we do that, older people will continue to make a larger impact on decisions.

In 2024, 45% of 18-29 year olds voted.  In 2024,55% of 30-49 year olds voted, in 2024 66% of voters 50-64 years old voted, and 77% of people over 65 voted that year.  Of course social security, medicare, prescription costs and retirement policy are front of mind for these people, so that's what the politicians talk about.  Until younger Americans come out to the polls in greater numbers, senior voting will continue to have a large influence on who's elected.

How Important is a Medical Advocate?

 The short answer is, very important.  A medical advocate, or medical appointment companion, could be a caregiver, family member or trusted friend.  Their purpose is to make sure you don't miss important information during a possible overwhelming appointment.  Especially when you're hearing a new diagnosis, discussing a procedure, or making an important treatment decision, an extra set of ears is helpful.  It's easy to miss details or forget what was said.  Two people can remember more than one.  If you are asking the questions, perhaps your trusted friend or relative can take notes, so you can concentrate on the conversation.  Or, they may ask questions you might not have thought of.  After the appointment, your advocate can help you think through your decision or provide another perspective without making the decision for you.

We're never too old to ask for help.  Many of us find that difficult, but we're all here to help each other.  Some may think that asking for help is a sign of weakness, but really, it's about knowing when you can't handle something on your own.  That's not weakness, it's being smart.  Let's all be smart, ask for help when we need it, and for goodness sake, bring another pair of ears along to your important medical appointments.

How Do You Rate Your Healthcare?

 We have some of the best doctors in the world right here in our own backyard, but how good is your actual care?  A recent experience has forced me to reevaluate my healthcare, and what, if anything, I can do about it.

My mother had what we thought was a TIA, as her functions seemed to return to normal right away, but it was actually a minor stroke.  She was treated at Scripps Encinitas.  Everyone was wonderful, telling her how amazing she was, etc, but there was little information given to her on her condition.  For example, no doctor reported to her on the results of her multiple tests for hours!  She was waiting to be released after the last test, which was supposed to be at 7:30 am.  She was not released until 5pm that afternoon, and no one ever came to tell her the results of the final test.

There is so much anxiety when you are waiting for results in a hospital.  Communication is so important.  Having to bug the nurses all day to check and keep checking is about all you can do.  You have to be assertive without being too aggressive.

Follow up after hospitalization is even worse.  Our instructions were to see the primary doctor within a few days, and the neurologist with 10 days.  My primary doctor offered me the first available appointment in 3 weeks!  The neurologists first appointment was in 2 months! This is NOT good medicine.  

Now I am looking for a concierge doctor, but sadly, they all have wait lists.  There has to be a better way.  The point is, that even though we have great doctors and all the latest tests, it could still be weeks or months before you see the right doctor.  By then, you might be dead.

Learning New Things Just Gets Harder and Harder

 I'm sure you've noticed it.  Learning new things gets harder as we age. Whether it's learning a new language, learning a new program on the computer, understanding a difficult concept, or remembering the many numbers and names we have stored in our brain, it all becomes more difficult as we age.

Part of the reason is brain and biologic changes.  Your brain forms new connections more slowly than it did in your youth.  While the brain still grows new cells, the speed to synaptic turnover drops and more repetition is required.  Life and mental habits also make learning harder.  Fear of failure may prevent older adults from even trying to learn new thing.  

Aging causes structural, chemical and cellular shifts that make processing and storing new information harder.  The prefrontal cortex shrinks, the hippocampus (memory center) loses volume, and the protective myelin coating or nerve fibers degrades, which slows down communication speeds between different brain regions.

There are many more chemical and cellular changes that contribute to our difficulty in learning new things, but you get the picture.  It's best to recognize that there are many things that we cannot change that are happening throughout the body (gravity, for instance), and accept that learning will be harder.  That by no means means that we should give up on learning.  I will write later about strategies to help seniors learn new things without feeling like a failure.

I've always said that I want to learn at least one new thing each day.  It might be a new word or just a new computer tip, or it could be something more complicated, like a new bridge convention.  The latter is harder for me than it used to be, it takes more repetition and practice, but I can still do it.  I will write about tips for senior learning soon.

Renewing Old Friendships

 One of the saddest realities of life is that we often lose touch with people we deeply care about.  We think of an old friend, distant relative or former neighbor that we haven't seen in ages, and wonder how they are.  We say we'll call them tomorrow, but tomorrow becomes new week, next month, or never.

Why do we put it off? Not necessarily because we don't care, but because we get busy with life, daily routine and appointments.  We might think it would be awkward to all after so much time has passed.  Yet, in most cases, the person on the other end of the phone is just as happy to hear from us as we are to hear from them.

A simple phone call might rekindle a friendship or just remind someone that you still care.  One day it will be too late, as the person may be gone or gravely ill.  We'll never have the opportunity to have that conversation if we wait too long.

The best time to reconnect is not someday-it's today.  As soon as I finish this, I'm going to call a friend I haven't talk to in over a year.  I know she will be happy to hear from me.

Traveling At Any Age

 I have a bit of experience traveling with people of all ages (except for babies and toddlers) and I can tell you now, it is hard, yet very rewarding.  I wouldn't change a thing.

My husband Ron, was diagnosed with ALS in 2014.  He passed away in 2020, so he had six years of declining health.  Did we stay home until he dies?  No way.  We made many  trips to Colorado and Phoenix, in and out of cars, airports, restaurants.  A road trip in a wheel chair is challenging.  Airports are easier than you might expect, since assistance is always available.  In the last two years of his life we took two cruises.  He was in a wheel chair full time at this point, and although it wasn't easy, I'm so glad we did it.  We got a handicapped room on the cruise, bigger and safer than a regular room, which helped a lot.  We also had staff from the ship come wheel  him to breakfast, theatre or poker.  That gave me a break.  As hard as those six years were, the fact that we kept on traveling, kept me going.  Now that I'm recalling it all, I have a smile on my face.  Travel was one of the bright spots in those six years.

I often talk to people who say, "I don't want to travel anymore.  It's just too much work."  Yes, it is a lot of work, but the rewards far outweigh the inconvenience for me.  I like to try difficult things (not dangerous) to challenge myself.  On my last trip I hiked up to 9,000 feet to see butterflies.  Definitely challenging.  I also rode a horse and an ATV.  I felt so good after doing these things.

If you're curious, as I am, travel has to be in your life.  Maybe it's just a three day trip up to San Luis Obispo, Hearst Castel, Cambria and Morro Bay with a few friends.  That's what a group of us will be doing soon.  We love traveling together, and we always seem to find exciting places to visit that are close to home.

Many of the best things we do in life are hard, but they are the best because they bring us great satisfaction and joy.  To me, travel is one of these things, often hard as we age, but oh, so rewarding.

Mel Brooks: 100 Years Old and Still Relevant

 Mel Brooks is one of the most amazing men of our time, regardless of age.  Brooks transformed movie comedy by creating films  that lovingly spoofed classic genres.  Who can forget these films?  The Producers, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, High Anxiety, History of the World, Part 1, and Spaceballs.  He combined satire, slapstick, wordplay and musical comedy while challenging stereotypes and conventions.  Mel Brooks is one of the few entertainers to achieve EGOT status.  (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony Award).

In his 90's and beyond, Brooks continue writing, acting, narrating and producing.  What do we learn from Brooks?  First, a sense of humor can help people endure adversity.  Second, creativity doesn't have an expiration date.  Third, staying intellectually engaged and socially connected may contribute to a fulfilling long life.  Finally, curiosity and the willingness to keep creating can sustain purpose well into advanced age.  

So, whatever you're doing, keep doing it.  We can all be mentally active until the day we die, as long as our health holds up.  Mel Brooks just turned 100, and he's not done yet.  

Another Sleepless Night

 I know plenty of you have the same problem as I, waking up in the middle of the night and unable to go back to sleep.  I know this because hardly a night goes by that I don't get an e-mail or text at 2pm.  According to Johns Hopkins, waking up multiple times during the night is normal.  (on average, 2-3 times per night).  We stare at the clock, flip from side to side, or watch TV.  For me, I can lie there for hours.  Here are some tips on how to get back to sleep from the experts.

1.  Don't watch the clock.  This only increases stress and anxiety,

2.  Get comfortable.  Go to the bathroom, make sure your room is cool and dark.

3.  Relax.  Easier said than done.  Start at your feet, and contract and release each part of the body.  Take slow, deep breaths in between muscle groups.

4.  If you haven't fallen asleep in about 20 minutes, get up, sit in a comfortable chair in another room.  Read a boo, or listen to quiet music. Do not stay in bed.  Don't do anything stressful.  Go back to bed when you feel drowsy.

5.  Adhere to your normal schedule tomorrow.  Don't sleep in because of your disrupted sleep the night before.  Go to bed at your normal time the next night.  You want to keep to the same schedule.  

I always thought counting sheep or counting backwards was the thing to do, but no one seems to do that anymore.  It didn't work for me.  I have always stayed in bed, but after reading this information, I may get up and try to read.  At least it's worth a try.

Hydration For Seniors Isn't An Option: It's Mandatory

 I know, you've heard it a million times, especially when the weather is hot.  Stay hydrated.  Well, I will tell you here that hydration is a foundation for cardiovascular stability, skin integrity and mental clarity.  It's one of the simplest yet most powerful health habits for maintaining independence and vitality.  Even mild hydration can cause fatigue, confusion and balance problems that increase fall risk.

As you age, your thirst sensitivity is reduced.  You may not feel thirsty, and by the time you actually do, you may already be dehydrated.

Changes in body composition as you age may cause dehydration.  Muscle holds water.  As muscle mass decreases and fat increases, total body water may drop, leaving less reserve during illness or heat.

Medications and chronic conditions may disrupt fluid regulation.  Diuretics, laxatives and some antidepressants promote fluid loss.

As you age, kidney efficiency declines.  Aging kidney cannot concentrate urine as effectively, so the body loses more water.  Dehydration puts you at risk of urinary tract infections and confusion.

Signs and risks of dehydration in seniors:  Early dehydration may include dry mouth, fatigue, irritability and constipation.  Later on, confusion, dizziness, rapid pulse or decreased urine output my present.  It's not unusual for a senior to initially be diagnosed as dementia because of confusion may actually turn out to be dehydration.  

6-8 cups of fluid is still the recommendation for adults, but contrary to common myths, coffee, tea, and hydrating food like soups and fruit, also sustain fluid balance.

Stay hydrated.  It's one of the easiest, and most important things you can do for your general well being.

Why Do Some Seniors Resist Help?

If you have cared for a senior parent, spouse, or friend, then you have probably discovered that some seniors are resistant to change and help.   I was recently told about a neighbor of mine, living alone, on a walker, very private and in need of help, but she won't accept it.  She has not been out of her house in years, except to go to medical appointments.  How do you get help to these seniors that refuse?

First a quick list of the reasons they may not want to accept help.  

1.  Fear of independence.  This is at the top of the list because in several studies it was found that seniors fear losing independence more than they fear death!

2.  Pride and self-esteem.  Most of these seniors are part of the Silent Generation.  They lived through the great depression, and want to continue to be self sufficient.  Asking for help is not part of their vocabulary.

Other reasons for not accepting help include privacy concerns, financial worries, not becoming a burden, mistrust of caregivers, fear of institutionalization. 

In order to avoid the senior from feeling like you are taking away their independence and having them feel they are being told what to do, you must shift the conversation.  Instead of saying "You Need help," reframe the statement to make it sound like it's a collaborative effort to make everyone's life easier.  "You need help keeping the house clean," can easily be changed to "Let's hire someone to do the vacuuming so that you have more energy to enjoy your hobbies."

Asking questions and listening are key to identifying why the senior resists help.  Ask open ended questions like "What worries you most about having someone in the house?"  Finally, start with small changes, like having a care worker twice a week and see how it goes.  My experience is that seniors enjoy having the help once they experience it.

Caring for a senior is a daunting task.  Seeing neighbors in need of help that won't ask or accept help is equally difficult.  We are community, and that means helping those that can't help themselves, whatever it takes.

Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?

 For anyone reading this blog who is over 30 (that's probably all of you), the bad news is that your brain is already on the decline.  The brain's peak performance is in our mid- 20's.  Decline is gradual, and the effects of healthy aging on cognitive functions are actually quite subtle.  

For example, a middle-aged adult can remember a sequence of seven numbers, while a person in their 60's without dementia can hold on to six digits.  When asked to list as many animals as they can in a certain time frame (verbal fluency), adults over 55 can list about 4% fewer animals than a person in mid life.

What causes lapses in memory as we age?  Alzheimer's disease and dementia affect us more than most anything else, but there are other reasons for memory lapse.  Medications, anxiety, depression and lack of sleep can all affect memory.  Normal changes occur in our brain, and processing speed may slow.  The amount of content in our working memory may diminish.  The short list of items you can keep in your head when going to the grocery store might get shorter, but it should not drop to zero.

Memory loss is part of the general atrophy and slowing down that happens to all parts of our bodies with age.  We know there's a slight atrophy of the brain with age, which could change processing speed. THIS IS NORMAL.  We were all at our maximum brain function in our mid 20's, and it's all downhill after that.  Just keep exercising, eating well, socializing, and learning and you will keep a well functioning brain into your 100's.  Slower to process, but non the less well functioning.

When dealing with very old people, recognize they may not answer questions or respond to information as quickly as you.  Give them a chance to recall and formulate what they want to say.  Most of the time the information is there.  It just takes them longer to retrieve.

How Remarkable Friendships Transform our Lives: Friends of the Good

This is a new book by Demond Martin, who rose from poverty in the south, with a drug addicted step father, to a Harvard Business School graduate and CEO of a large corporation.  The idea of a self made man really doesn't exist.  Demond Martin had lots of help along the way, and friendships that transformed his life.

In the book, he reflects on the people that made his journey possible.  Achievement is communal, someone is always offering you a ladder.  Martin speaks about a teacher that told he could be anything, do anything.  A church leader guided him for many years, sort of as a second father.  Aristotle wrote that there are three types of companionship:  convenience, pleasure and virtue.  Personally, I have many groups of friends and they help me enjoy life in different ways.  I've got intellectual friends, that challenge me and make me think.  I've also got fun friends, that love to have fun, and they keep me from being too serious.

There is an epidemic of loneliness and disconnection, especially among young people.  This is partly created by social media, but whatever the reason, it's not good.  We all need to connect.  We are social beings.

I have not read this book by Demond Martin, but the reviews sound good.  He describes how he got from poverty to success, who helped him along the way, and why we need friends.

The World Is Getting Smaller...Not

 Remember the days when it took days, if not weeks, to get news from around the globe?  Obviously that has all changed, and now, wherever you are in the world, news is available almost instantly.  As we age, we still have news and social media all the time.  In spite of all this, our world gets smaller as we grow older.

Many of the things you were able to do at 50 or 60 years of age are no longer so easy at 70, 80, and 90.  Driving and walking are two skills that when you lose them,  shrink your world.  You can no longer get up and go shopping whenever you want, or take a walk, or walk around a mall.  Plans have to be made in advance, and that's not always easy.  

Everything becomes harder as you age, and the things you do for yourself take longer.  Bathing, dressing, buttoning clothes, tying shoes all take more time.  So you resort to slip on shoes, blouses or shirts without buttons, quick showers (hopefully you've got handrails) instead of long, luxurious baths.  Sometimes you say "It's just too  much trouble to get dressed and go out for dinner.  I'll stay in and eat leftovers or call Uber Eats."

Traveling becomes difficult too, in fact so difficult, that many people I know over 70 don't want to travel or go near an airport anymore.  

For all these reasons, despite the instant access to shopping on line, ordering food on line, watching interesting travel films on line, and getting our news on line, the world is shrinking for many seniors.  Some rarely go out of their homes, others wander a bit in their neighborhood, but since they might not drive or probably don't drive at night anymore, they miss out on much of their community activity.  They may not travel anymore, go to theatre or concerts, so they are spectators rather than participants.

I know it's hard.  I lived with someone in declining health for 6 years, yet we cruised, flew, went to ball games and the movies.  Oh, and we ate out every week!  It was hard for me, and so hard for Ron, but it was worth it.  He participated in life until the very end.  That's what I intend to do, even as things get a little bit harder everyday.

Don't Put Off To Tomorrow.............

 The importance of living every day to the max is reinforced by the almost daily events that I see around me.  Many of us are procrastinators.  We think about an old friend and want to call her, but before you know it, you hear she has died and you never made the phone call.  You may talk about a special trip you have been wanting to take for years, and have put off for one reason or another.  Then something happens to you, and you never get to make the trip.

Two examples.  My friend was walking her dog recently right in front of her house.  She stopped to say hello to her neighbors, who were in their garage.  Here's what happened next.  The husband was closing up the garage, not realizing that the wife decided to run out of the garage to get something.  The garage landed on the woman, knocked her down.  Paramedics were called.  She was taken to the hospital with a broken hip and lascerations.  

Another example occurred in another seemingly harmless situation.  My friend was coming out of the hairdresser's after having her hair done, stepped off the curb, fell and broke her femur.  She has been in rehab for two weeks now, and may never be the same.  The trip she had planned for late summer will have to be cancelled.  

When you get to be a certain age (actually any age!), things can happen anywhere, anytime, that can change your life forever.  Do the nice things you have thought about doing NOW.  Don't wait.  Bring your neighbor dinner, just because, or call your daughter and tell her you love her, just because.  You'll feel good, they'll feel good, and let's face it, you may not get another opportunity.

That reminds me, I've been putting off making a phone call for over a month now.  I'm going to go make it right away!!

Has Your City Been Flocked?

 If you're interested in protecting your privacy and the privacy of others, this will be of interest to you.  It's called Flocking.  It refers to the Flock Safety Surveillance System that has been installed across the U.S.  Over 100,000 cameras have been installed.  These are not just the cameras that have been around forever that are basically license plate readers.  The original cameras were installed for traffic safety.  The Flock cameras do not have contracts with ICE but they can share information.  These cameras will be the next tool used in locating immigrants for deportation, in addition to invading all citizens privacy.

Many cities that have contracts with Flock have received such backlash that they are cancelling the contracts.  The information collected by Flock can be shared with police or ICE.  HOA groups can also partner with Flock.  We have cameras here in OHCC.  I wonder if they're just license plate readers or if our HOA has contract with Flock.  I hope it's the former.

This is a huge problem that most of us have just learned about, but cities and colleges in particular, are pushing back hard.  I checked, and San Diego and Oceanside do not have Flock contracts.  Let's keep it that way.

Regardless of where you live, it is likely you have been flocked.  The information gathered by the camera (license plate, stickers on your car from political and social, decals for entry to your community, etc) is interpreted by AI and they can find out everything about.  This can be shared with police, government and ICE.  I just wanted to make you aware that this is going on.

Update.  I just did a little more research and found out that the City of Oceanside Police Department does have a contract with Flock Safety and has expanded it's network of automated license plate reader cameras using federal grant funding approved in 2025.

Chronological Age Versus Biological Age

 There is so much new research on longevity and the speed of aging, so I thought it was important that you know some of what's being done in the field, and what still needs to be done.

Chronological age is the number of years you have been alive, whereas biological age measures how well your cells and tissues are functioning based on your lifestyle, genetics and environment.  Aging is inevitable, but your biological age can actively slow, stop or even be reversed.  Studies have shown that people born in the same year can have biological ages that differ by 15 or 20 years.  Scientists can measure chemical modifications on your DNA, use blood biomarker panels to test inflammation, blood sugar and cholesterol, and measure telomere length, which can indicate accelerated cellular aging.  Of course physical tests like grip and stress tests are also used to assess your well being.

Tests are now available to determine your rate of aging.  For example, TruAge reveals how old your body is at the cellular level, your speed of aging each year and the age of your 11 key organ systems.  Wouldn't this be good information to know?  For a price, you can get these tests.  From what I've read, tests to assess your biological age can cost from several hundred dollars to several thousand.  

Other tests in the field include Tru Diagnostic, Glycan Age, and Epi Age.  None of these are covered by Medicare at this time.

Scientists say that the earlier you discover your biological age and your rate of aging, the more that can be done to slow down the process.  Diet (an anti-inflammatory diet), exercise, sleep, stress (reducing stress) are as always, the most important factors.

Full MRI body scans are also now available.  They  may indicate more than you want to know, like hidden tumors or cancer yet undetected. 

We may think that it's too late to make changes.  What difference will it make?  Think again.  We know how much even small changes in lifestyle can make a difference.  One simple example:  if you're not exercising, just a 20 minute walk per day can improve blood pressure, circulation and mental well being.  As scientist discover more about this important issue, I will bring it to you, 

Supercentenarian Lela Babb Burden

 Lela Babb Burden was born in 1903, and died at age 112 in 2015.  She is a validated supercentenarian (someone who lives past 110), and there aren't many of them around.  She lived a rather unremarkable life, but the fact that she lived through so many historical eras is amazing.  From the influenza pandemic of 1918, which ended her schooling at age 15, to the high tech era of the 21st century, she experienced so much.

She was born in rural Virginia, and raised in Norfolk by relatives.  After the pandemic of 1918, she went to work rather than return to school.  She cleaned homes and restaurants to help support herself.  She married a railroad worker, had children, and stayed active and independent until well past 100.  In her 90's she traveled and enjoyed social activities.  It was a fall in her late 90's that put her in a care facility in Norfolk.  

Most professionals talk about social activity as being an important factor in longevity, but this was not Lela.  She was independent, reflective and content with her memories of life experiences.  She once said she didn't need company because she had "enough memories" to keep her occupied.  

Researchers who study supercentenarians have found genetics play a big role, they avoid or delay major diseases, live a simple, moderate lifestyle, have a low stress mindset, and social connections.

Lela followed many of these lifestyle behaviors, but not all.  A little luck also plays a role in longevity, and Lela certainly had that.

To Get A Dog Or Not: That Is The Question

 I don't ever remember being without a dog in my life until Pepper passed away in October.  From the time I was a child, we always had a dog, sometimes two.  We even had a female beagle when I was young that we bred several times, she had several litters, and we often kept a puppy.  Dogs have added so much to my life, yet here I am, without a dog.  

Since Pepper died I have felt a freedom I have not had for many years.  When Ron was sick, I had a schedule that involved being home a lot.  In the last years of Pepper's life, he too, needed attention.  Now, I no longer have that responsibility, and it feels good.  The part I miss most about not having a dog is coming home in the afternoon and having no one greet me at the door.  I also miss morning kisses from my four legged friend.  Oh, and yes, I miss my afternoons at the dog park with friends from Ocean Hills.

On the other side of the argument is the freedom to not have to return after a period of hours to walk the dog.  If I'm out somewhere, and want to go for dinner, I can do so without hesitation.  I can plan trips without having to to find a dog sitter.  (that can be harder than you might think).

I have to admit I have searched online for rescue dogs more than once, but that's as far as I've gotten.  Every time I want to go look, another trip comes up, another bridge tournament that will take me away from home for several days come up, and if I do get a dog, I want to be here to bond with him, to train him, and spend lots of time with him for the first few months.

I know there is a dog in my future, but it might not be right away.  I am enjoying travel and long days without having to worry about coming home. They'll be another wonderful dog for me when the time is right.

Benchmark Birthdays. How Do They Affect You?

 Benchmark, or milestone birthdays really affect me, and I guess I'm not alone.  I started noticing this at age 60.  My working career was over, I had moved to a new city, and most of all, I noticed differences in my health.  I couldn't walk as far, jump as high, etc.  It turns out that benchmark birthdays feel different because they act as a psychological milestone that triggers deep self-reflection , forcing a comparison between current achievements and life expectations.  Most of us make a mental accounting causing us to evaluate our life trajectory, mortality and passage of time.

Milestone birthdays act as checkpoints, causing people to look back at where they have been and where they want to go.  There is often intense pressure to have achieved specific milestones by certain ages, causing stress if reality doesn't match expectations.  

These birthday also remind us of the passage of time, which can trigger anxiety about aging and death.  

The 9-ender phenomenon indicates that people aged 29, 39, 49, etc. are more likely to experience a crisis or re-evaluate their life.

Why do so many people get the "birthday blues?" There are too many reasons to enumerate here, but suffice it to say that birthdays are often a time of reflection.

Two recent examples come to mind.  One woman was very sick with cancer on her 80th birthday.  It was a year and a half before treatment was ended and she was declared cancer free.  On her 81st birthday she announced that she was  healthy and cancer was in her past, and that the future would be filled with good health and great adventures.

Another woman turned 80 and used that milestone to evaluate what she had accomplished over the past 10 years, and what she wanted to achieve in the next decade.  She did some soul searching and decided to work less, enjoy more, and concentrate on good health and fitness. 

Although I just turned 81, not a benchmark birthday, I used the opportunity to evaluate my life.  What do I love about my life, what don't I like, and what do I want to do better?  As we age, we don't have to look at the calendar to know life is short.  As seniors, all birthdays remind us of the fact that life is short, especially milestone birthdays.

Turning Lemons into Lemonade

 I love road trips.  My mom loves them too, so as big long trips are becoming more difficult, we head for the road.  Our partner in crime over the past few years has been my friend Regina.  The three of us have had the best time visiting the Ozarks, Ohio, and Atlanta and Ashville (Regina couldn't make that trip).  So this year, with all the rain, I decided there would be a super bloom in the desert, and we should go to Borrego Springs.  I have already told you how that turned out.  No flowers, they were all burnt to a crisp, but beautiful landscape, sunrises and sunsets, and beautiful dark skies made it all worthwhile. 

The first road trip we took together was to the The Ozarks.  We had seen a short piece on TV about Eureka Springs (Arkansas) and decided to plan a road trip around it.  We visited Branson, Bentonville, Eureka Springs and Little Rock.  We didn't know much about Bentonville at the time, but have since come to love the city, but all the major hotels were booked, so all I could get was Best Western that sounded ok.  When we arrived, we found out that the reason nothing was available was because Garth Brooks was performing in Fayetteville, just a few miles away.  Well, I've stayed in a lot of hotels in my life, but this had to be the worst.  We found out it was a former drug hangout.  Our room, which barely locked, faced a dumpster filled with garbage and rats.  The blankets on the bed had cigarette burns in them.  The sink in the bathroom was falling off the wall.  Need I go on?  It was either sleep in our clothes on top of the bed or sleep in the car.  We slept on top of the bed, but were out of there at 7am!  But, we made lemons out of lemonade.  We went over to the Museum 21 Hotel (gorgeous), begged them to find us a room (they couldn't), but toured the hotel and its fabulous art.  Then we ate at  a fine dining restaurant in the hotel called The Beehive.  We spent the day in Bentonville visiting Crystal Bridges, viewing the Frank Lloyd Wright house, and taking a tour of the city of Bentonville.  We definitely turned lemons into lemonade.  As bad as the hotel was, everything else we did made up for it. 

Talk about making lemonade out of lemons.  Our trip to see wildflowers turned out to be a bust, but what we got instead was equally beautiful.  I can't wait for our next road trip and the adventures we will have.

When Is It Time To Take Care Of Yoursel?

 For most of my adult life, I was a pleaser.  When I was a young child, I wanted to please my parents.  As I got older, I wanted to please my friends, boss and co workers, husband and children.  At around the age of 70, I felt a shift in priorities.  I no longer felt it was my responsibility to make people feel good, go to parties that I didn't want to be at just because people wanted me there.  In other words, it was time to give more attention to myself.  When constantly pleasing other is costing you your own peace or joy, it's time to make a change.

As you age, you realize that your time is more valuable, it's the one thing you can't get back.  "Do I actually want to do this?  Will this add something meaningful to my life?"  If these answers are consistently "No,"  it's time to start declining.

Relationships that matter survive honesty.  If you no longer want to go to big cocktail parties and are invited to one by a good friend, politely say no.  You don't owe long explanations.

Many people in their senior years like smaller gatherings, meaningful conversations, few obligation, and more time for the things they truly enjoy.  Approaching life this way usually leads to greater happiness, not less.  Saying no to something that drains you is really saying yes to how you want to spend your life.

It's not that you no longer want to be a pleaser or be kind.  It's just that you make choices as to what you do, and realize that you can be kind to others, please others, and please yourself.  Think about what you do for others every day.  Are you only doing them to make another person happy, or are you getting something out of it?  If it's just to please someone else, rethink your priorities so that you can still be kind, but not at the expense of your own happiness.

The Brain of a Superager

 Superagers are adults ages 80 and older who tend to retain their brain health and cognition.  A new study found that superagers also grow more neurons than other older adults.  

A recent study focusing on neurogenesis, showed that the brains of superagers have the unique ability to form new neurons from neural stem cells.  The study analyzed brain samples from healthy young adults, healthy older adults, adults with mild dementia, adults with Alzheimer's, and superagers.  Scientists found first, that hippocampal neurogenesis-the creation of new neurons in the hippocampus, happens in healthy human adults.  They also discovered that superagers tended to make more new neurons when compared to other adult groups.

For a long time, the adult brain was seen as relatively fixed.  This study provides strong biological evidence for what we hope to be true, that the brain has a capacity for renewal.  The study also validates the lifestyle-based advice that doctors give their patients everyday.  Exercise and lifelong learning support brain health.  The study suggests that these activities aren't just keeping the brain "busy," but may be directly influencing the biological machinery that promotes the growth of new neurons and build resilience against decline.

Habits that support hippocampal health include consistent aerobic exercies, following a brain healthy diet like the Mediterranean diet, continuing to learn and staying socially engaged, and getting enough sleep.  Doing these things does not guarantee strong brain health, but for now, it's what most doctors and researchers feel gives our best possibility for a healthy brain.

Am I as Good as AI?

 As I sit here at my computer thinking about a topic to write about this week, I'm thinking about how AI has taken over many tasks that required me to think.  I decided to try an experiment.  I picked a very simple topic, and what follows will be the one paragraph I wrote to answer the question.  Then, I will tell you what AI wrote on the very same topic.  You be the judge.  Am I as good as AI?

Topic:  How to bring happiness to your morning (written by me)

I get up each morning with great anticipation for what the world has in store for me.  My happiness depends largely on me, and how I approach the world.  A beautiful home, fine clothes and a fancy car may give me a moment of happiness, but YOU must create your own happiness.  I plan my day.  (If you know me well, you know I already had the day planned long ago).  Happiness is a state of mind, and everyone will find happiness in a different way.  I try to start the day with a 30 minute walk.  That makes me happy.  Even though I am walking solo now (my buddy Pepper passed away), I am happy.  I may see the sunrise, and I will likely see friends and strangers who make me smile.  I call my mom, just to see if she's ok.  That makes me happy.  As I eat breakfast and catch up on over night news (which is mostly depressing), I look around the my house.  I smile.  I look at the many works of art I have hanging on the walls, and the souvenirs I have brought home from my many travels, and I feel happy, and think about my next adventure.  

Topic:  How to bring happiness to your morning (written by AI)

Creating a happy morning routine can gently set the tone for the entire day.  A key is a few simple habits that wake up the body, calm the mind, and give you something to look forward to.

1.  Start with light and fresh air

2.  Move your body (stretching, walk, yoga)

3  Have a small ritual you enjoy (a good cup of coffee, read a book, listen to music, write in a journal)

4.  Practice a minute of gratitude

5.  step away from news and e-mails early in the day

6.  plan one pleasant thing for the day 

After reading these two pieces on the same topic, I came to the conclusion that they are really similar.  My writing is more personal.  I talk about exercise, socialization, gratitude, planning my day, fresh air, just as AI did, but with examples from my own life.  For now, I'll keep writing my own words, and I will always tell you if I've used AI.

Precision Medicine is a Fast Growing Field of Medicine

Pharmacogenomic, or precision medicine, is a fast growing medical field that might keep doctors from over or under prescribing medications.  Here's how it works.  Doctors take a simple cheek swab to collect DNA that might help predict how patients' genes may influence their response to medications. From your DNA, your reaction to a drug, before you actually take it, can be determined. 

Common medications that the field of precision medicine helps with include heart and blood (thinners and cholesterol drugs), mental health (antidepressants and anti-anxiety), pain control (codeine), GI (acid reflux).

For years I have been asking myself this question, "Why does a doctor prescribe the same dosage  for a 100 pound woman as for a 200 pound man?"  That didn't make sense.  Using precision medicine this is less likely to occur.

A real life example of what this means is as follows.  Two people take the same antidepressant, one feels better, the other gets side effects or no benefit.  You may have a gene that metabolizes fast, while someone else may be a slow metabolizer and have side effects.

Bottom line, we are all individuals and with the growth of precision medicine, or personalized medicine, we are more likely to get the right dose.

Some of  precision medicine procedures are covered by insurance, so it's necessary to check this out.  As always, discuss personalized medicine with your health professional.  It may or may not be right for you.

Borrego Springs is Hot!

 The years go by, and I've never gotten to Borrego Springs to see the wildflowers, so I vowed this year to make it happen.  I got to Borrego Springs at the time which should have been the right time, but sadly, we were about 10 days too late.  I thought that because of all the rain this year we would have a super bloom, but unfortunately what happened was the flowers bloomed early, and then burnt to a crisp when the blazing heat came a few weeks ago.  Never fear.  We always find something to do.

We stayed at the Borrego Springs Resort, just about 5 minutes from Christmas Circle, the center of town.  Although the hotel was less than half full, the woman at the front desk would not let us check in until 3pm.  So, we went to Carlee's for lunch.  It was delicious.  One of the best burgers I've had in a long time, great homemade potato chips, and a greek salad.  Yum.  

Next, we got out our trusty map and went looking for some of the 130 sculptures created by self-taught artist Ricardo Breceda between 2008 and 2012.  Known as Galleta Meadows, Breceda was commissioned by the late philanthropist Dennis Avery, to create the sculptures, and they sit on land donated by Avery.  They are prehistoric creatures, fantasy creatures, farm workers, birds and many other animals.  They are really something to see.

Did you know that Borrego Springs is one of only a few Dark Sky Communities in America?  (I think there are about 30 in the U.S.).  This means that the community is required to reduce the lighting to help people look up and see the universe above.  It was awesome.  We had a map of the stars, but knowing very little, we did not really know what we were looking at.  Often  there are star gazing parties, or astronomers that help people learn what they're looking at.

I was told that sunrise in Borrego Springs would be around 7am, so I got up early to make sure I did not miss it.  The sunrise was a delightful surprise to our trip.  

Next time someone tells you there's nothing to do in Borrego Springs, don't believe them.  So many hikers, walkers, lovers of nature.  I highly recommend it.

To top things off, we stopped in Julian on the way home for a piece of pie.  A perfect ending to a perfect trip.

What Does Good Geriatric Care Look Like?

 Good geriatric care looks fundamentally different from standard adult medicine.  It's a philosophy focused on function, quality of life, and the whole person, not just diseases.  Care decisions are shaped around the patients goals, whether that's staying independent, avoiding hospitalization, traveling or minimizing medications.

Good geriatric care looks at the whole person, not organ by organ.  Physical, cognitive, mood, mobility, hearing and vision, etc. are all assessed.  Medication restraint is also the hallmark of good geriatric care.  Regular medication reviews, stopping drugs that no longer help, using the lowest effective doses.  The goal is to improve your life, not complicate it.

Longer office visits and fewer rushed decisions, proactive prevention of common geriatric problems like falls and social isolation can prevent a crisis from happening.  Clear, honest communication between doctor and patient is key.  The doctor MUST make sure the patient understands medications and procedures to follow.

Good geriatric care exists, but it is hard to find.  Geriatric doctors are not in large supply, because good care of seniors requires more time be spent with each patient.  Hospitals and insurance companies don't like that, so geriatric care is more expensive, and may not be available to all.  It's sometimes hard to do this, but make sure that you understand everything before leaving the doctor's office.  They may try to rush you, but try not to let them.  Ask questions.  Bring a list of concerns with you to the office, and make sure everything you want has been addressed.  That's probably the best we can do for now.

Healthcare: Are You Satisfied?

 I've been thinking about the healthcare system lately, and to sum it up in a word, I feel it is inadequate.  Not because we don't have highly trained doctors, most of whom care about their patients, but because of the system.  Patients experience long wait times to even get in to see a doctor, short office visits (10-12 minutes is what they schedule), and often time much of that time is not with the doctor, but a nurse or technician.  Our system prioritizes efficiency, not care.  There is a heavy reliance on checklists and protocols.  

Most healthcare in the U.S. is for profit.  This means that the goal is to make money.  Most doctors are great at ordering tests and medications, yet lack the required time, continuity and personalization needed to help many patients.  

Here's an example from my life.  I have significant arthritis in my lower back, causing me extreme pain.  I had this six years ago, was treated with 2 epidural injections, and felt great for many years.  Now, the pain is back and worse than ever.  In order to get the epidural injections, I must first have several weeks of P.T., when that doesn't help, have an MRI, then I can see the doctor.  All that takes weeks, weeks that I am suffering!  I finally see the doctor and miraculously I only have to wait a few days for the injection.  Then, I wait two weeks to see results.  If the results aren't good, you schedule another shot, which is just what I did.  Luckily, the results have been better.

After each injection, I had a Zoom follow up with my doctor.  She asked how I was feeling, and told me that if the next injection didn't work, I should consider surgery.  The Zoom appointment was less than 5 minutes.  No other alternatives, or lifestyle changes were suggested.  

Aging patients are often the most harmed by the weaknesses of modern healthcare, not because their needs are extreme, but because the system is poorly designed for complex, slow-moving, interconnected problems.

Seniors usually have more than one problem at a time, which means going to multiple specialists, often getting conflicting information.  Seniors may take numerous medications, and reviewing them can take time, time the doctor does not have.  Doctors often minimize the complaints of seniors, saying things like "Let's just watch it,"  or  "That's normal for your age.

There are numerous other factors that affect the healthcare that seniors receive.  Our system is designed to treat disease, manage emergencies and follow protocols.  Aging patients need systems that manage complexity, preserve function, protect dignity and prioritize quality of life.  That mismatch is why care so often feels inadequate.

The Impact of Stress on Your Life

 Chronic stress severely impacts health by causing long-term, systemic wear and tear on the body.  It damages cardiovascular health, weakens the immune system, causes musculoskeletal tension, and triggers mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

I have often thought that stress impacts our overall health dramatically, and now studies at the Mayo Clinic and Cleveland Clinic, among others, confirm this.  Stress is a natural human reaction that happens to everyone, and it's not all bad.  It can keep you alert, motivated and ready to avoid danger.  But stress becomes a problem when stressors continue without relief or periods of relaxation.

The key impacts of chronic stress are  on heart and cardiovascular systems, immune system suppression, mental health and brain function, and digestive and metabolic issues.  Constant stress keeps blood pressure high and heart rates elevated, increasing the risk of hypertension, heart attacks and stroke.  Chronic stress also reduces the body's ability to fight off infections, leading to more frequent illnesses and slower wound healing.  Prolonged stress can lead to depression, anxiety, memory impairment and burnout.  Finally, stress can cause stomach pain, diarrhea and nausea.  It can put you at higher risk for type 2 diabetes.

So, what can we do?  We live in a stressful world, so we must try our best to manage stress.  Some easy ways include techniques like exercise, proper nutrition, relaxation and socialization.  They are all critical to preventing long-term damage.

Nothing does more for me than a good walk with a buddy.  I have been walking regularly for 22 years with my good friend Fran.  We walk and talk and enjoy the beauty of our surroundings, and after an hour, we've done our 10,000 steps, caught up on gossip, and solved the world's problems.  I always feel better after our Saturday walks.  Find what works for you.  You'll be surprised at how good you will feel.

Is It Safe To Travel Abroad?

 I have been traveling a great deal in the past few years, and many people ask me the same question.  "Is it safe?"  The short answer is yes, and the long answer is also yes.

Statistically, an American is far more likely to be murdered while living in the U.S. than while traveling abroad, even in places that seem dangerous.

Here are some statistics for some places you might consider visiting.  Mexico:  60-75 American citizens per year are murdered in Mexico, out of 28-30 million visitors.  Risk per trip 0.2-0.3 murders per 100,000 American visitors.  Guatemala:  0-2 American homicide victims per year, out of 1million American travelers.  United Kingdom:  0 American tourists murdered, out of 4-5 million American tourists per year.  France:  0-1 American homicide victims per year out of 3-4 million American visitors.

Odds of being murdered in the United States:  6-7 murders per 100,000 people per year. With 330 million people, that equals about 20,00-30,000 murders annually.

These statistics show Americans are far more likely to be murdered here in America, than any place they might travel.  I did not include many "high risk" areas, but the rate of homicide is still far less than staying home.  In Israel, 0-2 American citizens are murdered each year (excluding times of war or terrorist attacks),  Likewise, the number of American tourists murdered in China is 0.

So, for those of you still not traveling and say it's because of safety, think again.  You may have many other reasons not to travel, but safety should be crossed off your list.  Yes, it's tiring, flights are overbooked and delayed, and lots of other obstacles may upset your trip.  But, many unexpected surprises may come from these disruptions.  I think of the play, Come From Away, and know that the passengers that landed in Iceland, where they stayed for several days, will never be the same.

Ordinary People Can Live an Extraordinary Life

 What's the secret to longevity?   My 102 year old mom is asked that question all the time, and she usually says, "I don't know.  I didn't do anything special."  This is often the answer given by the many supercentenarians in America.

Onie Ponder, age 110, is one such supercentenarian.  She is thought to be the oldest living person in Florida, and the 86th oldest in the U.S.  When you think of it, she's lived a rather unremarkable life.

She attended boarding school as a young child, went on to attend the University of Florida, and sold war bonds during the war.  Other than that, she raised a family and lived an ordinary life.

Onie's secret to longevity is to live in the present.  Such good advice.  Don't wallow in the past, or think too much about what might happen in the future.  Just enjoy each day to the fullest.  You'll never get this day back.  

Onie is remarkably healthy.  Her "defects," as she calls them, are thinning hair, a few age spots on her face, taking 2 pills a day, and using a walker.  Pretty impressive if those are her only defects.  She is mentally sharp, takes a walk using her walker daily, and enjoys socializing with people in her community.  

Onie Ponder is one of the growing number of supercentenarians in our country.  She has her health, and continues to enjoy her life, one day at a time.  All we really have is today, so let's enjoy it.

Treating Chronic Pain

 Having had some serious back pain recently, I've been looking for answers.  Chronic pain can be treated in many ways.  A multi faceted approach seems to work well for most.  Combining medical treatments with lifestyle changes and psychological strategies can help.  

Nerve blocks and radiofrequency ablation also help.  I just had an epidural (my second in a month) and I am getting some relief.  For seriously chronic conditions, DBS, or deep brain stimulation is being met with good results.  Electrodes in the brain reduce chronic pain by delivering target high frequency electrical impulses to specific brain regions.  These pulses disrupt abnormal pain signals effectively blocking pain transmission to the conscious brain.  

Meditation, yoga, acupuncture, and biofeedbacks are complementary therapies that may also help with pain.

I often listen to Sanjay Gupta's podcast, Chasing Life, as I walk in the morning.  Recently he talked about DBS, and the good results from this treatment. One of the points he made was that opioids are not the only answer, in fact doctors are looking for alternatives.  If one treatment doesn't work, we have to be willing to try something else.  Since Celebrex came on the market in the late 1990's, almost no new pain medications have been approved by the FDA.  We need to look for alternatives, and hopefully find something that breaks the cycle of pain. 

Don't Take Influenza Lightly

 Most seniors I know take keeping healthy a top priority.  Most of us are up to date on our shots:  pneumonia, shingles, Covid, RSV, flu.  You can do all that and still run into trouble. 

My mom and I recently took a 12 cruise from Costa Rica to Los Angeles.  It was a small ship, with lots of space between people, but still I got sick and then my mom.  My illness was simply a heavy cough, with no other symptoms.  My mom's was far worse.  It started as a slight cold, low fever, slight cough and congestion.  But oh, my, things can change quickly.

We went to the ship doctor, who immediately started Dorothy on Tamiflu.  That is supposed to reduce the length of the illness.  Dorothy was so lethargic and lacking in energy.  All she wanted to do was sleep.  She was disoriented, didn't know if it was day or night.  She had an incident at dinner that I would call a TIA, although the doctor never gave it a name.  It's been several weeks since all this happened, and she is still somewhat confused, tired, just not herself.

The reason flu is so deadly in seniors is due to a weakened immune system.   Possible chronic conditions like diabetes or heart disease, higher risk of pneumonia, bronchitis, heart failure, confusion and weakness, can all happen due to flu.

Don't take influenza lightly.  If you feel like you may have the flu, get tested as soon as possible and start taking Tamiflu right away.  It takes several weeks to get over, so be patient.  Lots of naps, water and a good diet.  If confusion has occurred, be patient with that too.  Doctor says that should return to normal too.  

Whatever You Do, Don't Fall

 During the six years that my husband Ron lived with ALS, these were the words of his neurologist, Dr. Ravitz, at the conclusion  of every visit.  Falls are by far the most common cause of home injuries and deaths in older adults.  Seniors are six times more likely to be treated at the emergency room for a fall than younger people. Falls typically occur on floors, stairs, steps and from beds.  Other top hazards for seniors are fires, drowning, transportation, carbon monoxide poisoning and adult bed rails.

Older adults are 3.5 times more likely to die in fires than the general population.  Smoking materials and cooking are two major fire sources.  Cooking can often lead to a fire.  A senior may put something on to cook and completely forget about it.  Smoking in bed is another common cause of fire in the home.  

Still, falls are the most common form of injury to a senior.  Here are a few simple steps we can all take to make our homes safer, at any age.

Install handrails on both sides of any stairs in your home, keep stairs well-lit and free of clutter, and always use the handrails when using the stairs, keep floors cleared and slip resistant, REMOVE LOOSE CARPETS, CORDS AND OTHER ITEMS THAT CREATE A TRIPPING HAZZARD.  BE SURE ALL RUGS, MATS AND OTHER SURFACES ARE NON-SKID.  Install grab bars and slip-resistant surfaces in the bathroom, do not wear loose clothing while cooking (it can catch on fire), install smoke alarms and carbon monoxide alarms and check batteries as suggested.

Every 11 seconds an older adult is treated in the emergency room for a fall.  Falls are the leading cause of fatal and nonfatal injuries in older Americans.  Make your home as fall proof as possible.  Oh, one more thing for you dog owners.  Get the toys OFF the floor!                                                                                                                                                                                                     

It's 80 Degrees Out, So Why Am I Cold?

 I used to run around in shorts and a tee shirt, but as I aged the shorts were replaced by long pants, and a sweater or jacket was usually added.  I remember my dad years ago, sitting in a warm sunny room wearing a sweater or leather jacket.  Now, my mom is always prepared for changes in her body temperature.  Regardless of the outside temperature, Dorothy is wearing three layers: silk undershirt, shirt or sweater, and coat!  She is always cold.

Several things happen to our bodies as we age to cause us to be cold.  Our circulation slows.  Blood vessels don't expand and contract as efficiently as they once did.  The body prioritizes keeping vital organs warm, so hands, feet and skin feel colder.

We all use muscle mas as we age.  Muscle generates heat, so as we age we have less internal heat production.

Aging skin becomes thinner and loses some of its fat layer (and elasticity).  This reduces insulation, so heat escapes more easily.

Basal metabolic rate declines as we age, meaning the body produces less heat overall and we slow down.

Hormonal changes for both men and women can make someone feel cold all the time.  Lower thyroid activity, which is simply part of the aging process, can do this.

All of the above changes happen naturally in everyone, but medications and medical conditions can also contribute to us being cold.  Blood pressure med, some antidepressants, sedatives and Parkinson's medications can worsen cold sensitivity.  

Medical conditions such as anemia, diabetes, thyroid disorders, heart disease and poor nutrition can also make feeling cold more pronounced.

Feeling cold is just another one of the many changes we experience as we age.  Taking a warm bath is my favorite remedy to feeling cold.  As this is not always available, taking a brisk walk will warm you up, get your circulation going, and generally just make you feel good.  That's my answer to a lot of of conditions, both physical and mental.

Today Is My Birthday!!

 I'm writing this from my home in Oceanside, even though at this very moment I am in Guatemala at the end of my Guatemala/Mexico trip.  I am 81 today, and I'm happy to say I don't feel it.  Yes, I have many aches and pains, but my energy level and desire to live life to the fullest, is still present.  I am excited about every day and what it may bring.  Fortunately or unfortunately my mind seems to be going nonstop.  If I'm not doing something that takes focus, like bridge, golf, reading or pickleball, I'm probably thinking about future plans.  When will I go visit my kids and grandkids, when will I take another big trip, what will I plan for my Mom and I to do next.  It's hard to shut off your mind.  

That's one of the reasons I don't sleep well.  I fall asleep easily, then around three or four o'clock wake up.  I am rested, the mind starts to think, and that's it.  If you want to know what was on the first hour of Morning Joe (3am-4am) I can probably tell you. 

Most of us are so fortunate to have good health and live in such a beautiful place.  I feel so fortunate to still be of sound mind and body, and contributing to this world in my small way.  As they say, "Age is only a number."  Growing old is mandatory.  Growing up is optional.

Oldest Street Artist in the World: Grace Brett

 Grace Brett was a Scottish woman, just an ordinary woman, who became known later in life for her involvement in yarn-bombing and community street art.  At 104 she was featured in reports as possibly one of the oldest street artists in the world, celebrated for helping transforming everyday objects like benches, lamp posts and other town fixtures in her hometown of Selkirk, with colorful knitted and crocheted pieces as part of local arts projects and festivals.  

Grace was a lifelong knitter who enjoyed her craft with the community, bringing smiles to them through her creative decorations. Born in 1912, she was from the generation where most women learn to knit at a young age.  She continued the craft throughout her life, but it wasn't until very late in life that her work was truly recognized and appreciated.  Her work with the Souter Stormers knitting group helped shine a spotlight on yarn art in her region. 

Grace Brett's legacy lives on as an inspiring example of how traditional skills, community involvement, and a playful spirit can bring beauty and warmth to the world-proving that it is never too late to create, to contribute or to be celebrated.

Do You Get Nighttime Leg Cramps? You're Not Alone

 I never got nocturnal cramps when I was younger, but over the past 10 years I have experienced the excruciating pain of them more often than I would like.  About 1/2 of those over 80 experience nighttime cramps, some as much as several times a week!  Nocturnal cramps are characterized by episodes of painful, sudden, intense, involuntary contractions of muscles in the legs, fee and other extremities in the middle of the night.  But you already know all this.

Most scientists think that dehydration, lack of exercise during the day, and mineral deficiency, mainly magnesium deficiency is the problem.  Up to 80% of adults are deficient in magnesium.  This is due to de-mineralization of ground soil from mass agriculture, reduced nutrient density in modern diets (packaged foods) and increased magnesium excretion, caused by stress, caffeine and sugar intake.

Some studies suggest that magnesium glycinate, when taken before bedtime, may help reduce leg cramps.  The quality of your sleep may also affect nighttime cramping.  Poor sleepers seem to have more cramps at night, so relaxation with the use of melatonin may help.

We all know the traditional remedies.  Walking and pressing down on the cramped area if it is in your food, massage, heat or cold, they all give some relief.  

Old wives tales mention the following remedies for nocturnal cramps.  I have not tried any of them, but here they are.  Eat a spoon of yellow mustard (yuck), drink some pickle juice, or pinch your upper lip, the area between you lip and your nose.  Mustard and pickle juice both contain acetic acid, which may help cramping.  Pinching your lip has something to do with acupuncture, as it affects another area of your body, but I wouldn't swear to any of these remedies.

The best way to prevent nighttime cramps is to stay active during the day, stay hydrated, eat a healthy diet and possibly a magnesium supplement, and keep bedding loose.  I hope this helps.  Sweet dreams.

Who's Going To Take Care Of You When You're Old?

 Planning for the future, and who will take care of you is an enormous problem for our aging society.  It is difficult for everyone, but most difficult for "soloists."  No, these are not people that play in an orchestra.  They are men or women (mostly women) who are either widowed, or have been single and childless all their lives.

Who's going to take care of any of us?  Single or married, the most important thing is to have a plan.  Having a plan is the key to success in almost everything you do in life.  Know what you want.  Do you want to age in place, go to a senior community, live with a friend, live with family, who will take your dog or cat, etc?  In California and Arizona we have professional fiduciaries who can look after your money.  You would tell them what you want, how much money you have, and they would work out the details.  In the rest of the country professional fiduciaries do not exist.  People appoint a bank or a lawyer, both who charge big fees, or they get a friend or relative to take care of things.  The latter doesn't always work out well.

Many people opt for long term care, which if bought at an early age might be a good decision.  If, however, you are 60 years old and your aging father has Alzheimer's, you will most likely not qualify for long term care.  The insurance company doesn't like to take chances.

Other people decide to self insure.  Statistics show that one should put away $500,000 in an account to be used for long term care.  Sounds like a lot, but it goes quickly. 

The best solution for many is to age in place.  Stay in your home, bring in help as needed, and continue to enjoy your community.  This will work so long as you don't need special medical attention that the home cannot provide.

There are other options, like what is often called the golden girls lifestyle.  Get together with some other seniors and live together.  Or, there are group homes to live in.  

The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone.  So many people are facing the same challenges.  We are a community, and through community you will find the right doctor, the right lawyer, and the right place to live.  Ask everyone you know to help you solve a problem.  They will help you solve it.  People helping people solve problems works!

Any choice you make should be discussed with a financial planner or estate planner.  Often the family is involved in a group meeting, where the senior's wishes are discussed so everyone knows what he/she wants

Planning for your future is difficult, but necessary.  If we don't plan, the time will come when we can't make decisions, and someone else will be making them for us.  We want to take control of our lives and our future and planning is the best way to do so.

California Has The Largest Number of Centenarians in the U.S.

 The population of centenarians in the U.S. grew by 50% between 2010-2020, and its growth in Southern California is expected to increase another 50% in the next two decades.  Of those that live to 100+, 79% of them are women, so I  thought I'd focus on a 109 year old man who lived in Mira Mesa.

Khen Ngo was born on July 4, 1911, and died just short of his 110th birthday in 2021.  Longevity runs in his family, as all his siblings lived into their 90's.  Khen owned a sewing factory in central Vietnam, then moved to Saigon when the Vietnam war began.  When Saigon fell in 1975, the 64 year old Ngo and his entire family fled in a boat to escape the Viet Cong.  They moved to the Phillipines, then Guam and finally San Diego in 1985.  

Khen considers his biggest accomplishment moving his family from Vietnam to the U.S.  This was a difficult task.  A lot of people didn't make it.  Khen was grandfather to 20 grandchildren and 20 great grandchildren.  He and his wife Sam were married for 67 years.

Ngo credits his physical activity and green and jasmine tea for his longevity.  In his youth he was an active soccer player.  He would tell you that prayer, activity (still walked whenever he could) in his 100's.  He could do everything, according to his children.  His memory has been all there.  

He was honored by the city of Mira Mesa at age 109 not just for his longevity, but also for his contributions to the community.  He died from lung cancer in 2021 after a long life, well lived.

I Just Met What's His Name

 We all go to parties where we are meeting new people and would like to remember their names.  This becomes harder and harder as you age.  Some just say, "I've never been good at remembering names," but this doesn't have to be the way it is.

First, as soon as you meet a new person, respond with "Nice to meet you, Kathy."  Use it again during the conversation.  This locks it into short-term memory.

Next, pick out one thing about them that stands out and link it to their name.  For example, Mary is very short, or John has red hair.  

During conversation, ask a question using their name.  For example, "Where were you born, Henry?"  The more you use a person's name, the more likely lock this into your memory.

As soon as you can after meeting someone new, jot down their name on paper, where you met them and something about them.  This works really well.  I've been doing it for years.  Except for close friends and family, I list everyone in my contact list by what they do or how I know them.  For example, John is listed under Handymen, then his name and who introduced us.  Under Pickleball, I have the names of many pickleball players and how I met them.  

As you age, you may meet someone one day, then not see them for weeks.  They will be so impressed if you remember their name.  They say that it takes using a new word in context 25 times or more to make it part of your vocabulary.  I don't know if you have to use a person's name that many times to remember it, but repetition certainly helps, and connecting them with an activity or a person helps too.

You would laugh if you saw my contact list.  I have categories like housekeepers, doctors, bridge players, golf players, caterers, gardeners, plumbers, computer specialists, etc.  The doctor list is especially long, and I always include who referred me to them.  Hope these tips help you remember the many new people you meet.

Focus on the Positive: What Can You Do?

 As we age, we all become aware of what we can no longer do, things that we just took for granted, and then one day, we realized we couldn't do something anymore.  I'll give you some examples from my own life.  As athletic and physical as I am, I noticed several years ago that I could no longer run.  I couldn't believe it, but it's true.  I don't know what happened, but I cannot run.  I can no longer put on certain pieces of jewelry, ones that require small motor dexterity. I keep dropping one side of the necklace and can't get it hooked.  Jars that I used to open easily are now more difficult.  I also notice a decline in my reflexes.  This is most apparent when I'm playing pickleball, which requires lightening fast reflexes.  My energy level has declined.  I used to go all day and into the night without rest, but no more.  An afternoon nap occasional feels really good.  Finally, I have noticed a decline in my beautiful handwriting.  It used to be perfect.  Now it looks messy.

You have probably experienced these and other changes in physical and mental ability.  We have a tendency to beat ourselves up because we can't do what we used to do.  I have tried to turn that around with positive talk and putting the focus on what I CAN do.

I can walk fast, even though I can't run.  I can buy jewelry with magnetic closings, and have the clasps changed on some of my favorite pieces so I can still wear them.  Jars are still a problem, but I have a rubberized rag that helps me open almost any jar or bottle.  When playing pickleball, I have tried to play a more strategic game, and not rely as much on strength.  Yes, I don't play like I used to, but I have lowered my expectations and feel satisfied that I can compete well for my age.  Energy, well, it just isn't what it used to be, so I try to plan less to do each day rather than feel frustrated and overwhelmed.

When our physical ability becomes less, we need to turn to more sedentary activities, like cards, puzzles, playing an instrument and reading.  We need to adapt activities to current skills, celebrate small wins, and focus on hobbies where we can achieve success.

Learning something new, like a new card game or artistic endeavor, is not only good for your brain, but it gives you a great sense of achievement.  

It's January, and a new year provides you with new opportunities.  Try something new.  Don't set your expectations too high.  Focus on new things you can do.  Be positive.

Are You Lonely Tonight?

 This Elvis Presley song sticks in my head as I think about loneliness, but the fact of the matter is, loneliness is something many seniors face.   The holidays are a special time of year for us all-full of lights, music and memories, but for many seniors, especially those alone, they can feel surprisingly quiet.  Studies show that nearly one in three older adults feel lonely at times, and that isolation can affect not just mood, but overall health.

The good news is that connection makes a real difference.  Getting together with friends for coffee, or joining a community group, or attending a holiday event can lift spirits and bring back a sense of belonging.  Sharing  stories and laughter help remind us that we're not alone-we're part of something bigger.  I always think of the book, The Blue Zones, by Dan Buettner.  In it he discusses the six geographical zones where people live the longest and healthiest.  One of the keys to their longevity is community and socialization.

A few weeks was ago was Thanksgiving, a particularly difficult time for some seniors that no longer have a spouse, a sibling or a parent, and children may live far away.  Here at Ocean Hills some very generous and thoughtful residents put together a Thanksgiving dinner in the big hall for those who were alone.  Interest was overwhelming, and over 100 people attended the dinner.  I've lived here for 10 years and this was the first time a Thanksgiving dinner was arranged for seniors living alone.   My guess is it will become an annual event.  

There were people at the dinner I had never seen before, and many of them said they didn't get out much anymore, but thought it would be nice to have Thanksgiving with others in the community.  They were all so glad they came.  At least for this one afternoon they felt part of a community, had someone to talk to and someone to share a meal with.

It's so important to stay engaged socially, yet so difficult for many.  It's up to us, the social butterflies, to invite shut ins who find it too much trouble to go, to get them out, not just on Thanksgiving, but on a regular basis.  It's good for them, and it sure makes us feel good to get someone to feel part of the community.

AI Is My New Personal Assistant

I'm pretty good with technology, and have always thought that keeping up with changes is so important, so about a year ago when people really began talking about AI and specifically what I use, ChatGPT, I perked up.

Now I use CHATGPT many times every day.  We've been using AI for years, but we never called it by name.  Siri and Alexa and Google Maps are just some examples.  Also, auto correct on your computer is AI.  How do you think the ads you see on your computer get there?  They are specific to you, based on your browsing preferences and buying.  But let's get to some newer uses of AI.

I first began using AI about nine months ago when we were planning a trip to Poland and Slovakia.  I asked it to plan a 2 week trip that included history, culture, art and good food, and make it a combination of driving and flying.  Within 5 seconds I had a complete itinerary.  Then I asked AI if there were any festivals or special events in the towns we would be visiting.  Again, within seconds I had the names and dates of various festivals .  It gave me restaurants too.  Amazing.  

So what other ways can you use AI that you might not yet be aware of?  

1.  Figure out health issues.  If you type in your symptoms and describe the symptoms,  CHATGPT will tell you the potential causes.  Remember, AI can analyze images, so if you have a rash, for example, it may be able to tell you what it is.  It can explain medical test results and even very complicated medical situations.

2.  Diagnose home repair issues, phone issues, computer issues.  I use CHATGPT almost daily to figure out how to fix the coffee maker, repair the toilet or sink, or figure out something on my phone.  It's fantastic.  It can organize your files for your computer.

3.  Personal assistance and productivity.  There are AI tools like Tactiq that you can use to transcribe YouTube videos, or transcribe the conversations you have with yourself in the car.  It can help you make difficult decisions, if you give it the right information.

4.  It will write stories for you, letters of all sorts, sympathy cards, etc. Someone I know recently had to fire someone, and CHATGPT gave her a kind, gentle way to do it.  

We've only scratched the surface in our use of AI.  It's not something to be afraid of.  Yes, there are negatives, but OMG, the positives outweigh them, and it is such a time saver!  I hope you are all using AI and enjoying it's many benefits.

A Can-Do Attitude Can Take You Far

 Vivian "Millie" Bailey was a memorable women by any standards, and the fact that she lived such a long and productive life makes her someone I thought you might like to know about.

Born in Washington, D.C. in 1918, but raised in Oklahoma, Vivian was an American WW11 veteran, civil servant and volunteer.  It was her can-do attitude that got her far.  She commanded a segregated all-female unit during WW11 and continued helping service members all her life.  At 102, she continued to live life to the fullest, completing her first skydiving jump at this age!

Vivian joined the Women's Army Auxillary Core in the early days of WW11.  She was commissioned as a first lieutenant.  As one of two black women in her general officers training class, she graduated with honors and went on to serve for the first time in an unsegregated unit.

Even after the war, Vivian never stopped serving.  During the Vietnam War she and a group of friends put together care packages for deployed service members.  She did the same during Desert Storm, and since 2004 she has ben packing boxes, soliciting funds and calling on elected officials for contributions to continue her work of sending care packages to our military.

She has met presidents and first ladies, generals and civic leaders, and all have mentioned that her can-do attitude has served her well.  Nothing gave her family any inclination that she would rise to the heights she did, but indeed she did.  Long before the military was desegregated, Vivian Bailey was being educated in a nearly "whites only" officers training class, leading an all black squad of women during WW11 and flying planes (unheard of at the time) in combat.  She died peacefully in 2022.

Aging Is Inevitable

Although aging is inevitable, we don't all age at the same rate.  Some people look and feel old at 60, while others are still going strong in their 90's and beyond.  Genetics plays a role in aging, but lifestyle plays and even greater role in whether you will become a super ager.  Here are a few of the lifestyle choices that lead to slower aging.

1.  Challenge your brain.  Push your brain by reading challenging material and learning something hard.  I have a saying, and I think of it every day.  "I want to learn something new everyday."  

2.  Build strength.  Walking is great, but you've got to do more.  Do some resistance training 2-3 times a week.  Just 10 minutes will make a difference.  Work on balance and mobility.  Perform short bursts of energy for a great cardio workout.  We used to call this interval training.

3.  Sleep 7-8 hours per night.  Sleep deprivation accelerates age-related decline.

4.  Eat a wholesome diet, with a few ultra processed foods as possible.  A Mediterrenean diet works well.

5.  Prevent health flare ups by visiting your primary doctor, opthomologist and audiologist regularly.  

6.  Stay socially connected.  This may be more important than we think.  Stay active in church, book clubs, hobbies, bridge, mah jongg, etc.  It keeps  you engaged in the world around.

7.  Stress management.  I think this is one of the keys to longevity, although I am not a doctor and have no research to support my thoughts.  Deep breathing, short walks, meditation, creative hobbies, and a good friend to share thoughts and concerns with, will go a long way in reducing stress.  I always remember what a therapist said to me many years ago when I was going through a difficult time.  "Most of your anxiety over negative events will never come to pass.  It's unlikely that you're going to get hit by lightening, unlikely that your plane will crash, unlikely that your house will burn down.  Focus on the things you CAN change instead of speculating about the "what ifs."

I plan to live a long and healthy life by remembering the above choices that seem to lead to a longer life.  

Motion is Lotion

Six years ago I began to develop severe lower back pain.  Severe arthritis was the culprit.  This was during Covid, and just before Ron passed away, so I had a lot of stress, which I thought might be a contributing factor.  After a little physical therapy with no significant improvement, I had two spinal injections.  It was like magic.  I had two injections, and no pain for five years.  Now it has begun again.

My first thought was to go right to the pain doctor and get steroid injections.  My primary doctor said, "Let's try physical therapy first."  I was skeptical, but I'm so glad I listened to him, because I met Jennifer.

My physical therapist, Jennifer, explained to me that my severe arthritis five years ago is now five years worse!  I first met and explained to Jennifer my symptoms, and how a 20 minute walk first thing in the morning seems to stretch out my back and make me almost pain free, she said, "Motion is lotion."  I had never heard that phrase before, but it makes perfect sense.  The joints and nerve endings have been sleeping all night and are stiff.  Walking loosens them up, gets things moving.  So, motion is a lubricant to get the stiffness out of my back.

Jennifer has me on a program of light stretching every day and a little strengthening for my lower back.  It seemed to work for a while, but over the last two weeks has worsened.  The pain doctor is going to do epidural injections again, with the hope that I will have the same great results I had the first time.  You just never know.  

I'm sorry the stretching and walking wasn't a complete fix, but I hope the injections will help.  I do know that walking and movement, at least for me, makes everything better.  Thank you Jennifer for teaching me that "Motion is lotion."

Turn a Lonely Day Into Something Memorable

 The most difficult days of the year for seniors living alone are often Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve/Day.  Many people have no family near by, or don't have the ability to go anywhere.  They might not drive anymore, or are homebound due to illness.  It doesn't have to be this way.

At Ocean Hills, a 55+ community where I have lived for the past 10 years, one new owner, decided to put on a Thanksgiving dinner for any resident that wanted to attend.  She really outdid herself.  With the help of a great team of volunteers (including me), she cooked all the food, set up 13 tables of 10 each, and threw a Thanksgiving party that all will remember.  

There were couples and singles, able bodied and disabled, all there to share a meal with community members that they may or may not know.  My mom and I went, and sat at a table with a few people I knew, and many  I did not.  We shared stories, I found out one of the couples at our table lived on my street, unbeknownst to me.  The craziest thing we discovered as we all shared stories, was that  of the 10 people at our table, six of them shared a birthday with someone else at the table.  My mom found another many who shared her birthday, there were two ladies named Karen who shared a birthday, and two other strangers who also shared a birthday.  The odds of that are 1 in 16,000!!!

Anyway, strangers can become friends very quickly over a meal, and that's exactly what happened here, table after table.  So many lonely people that seldom get out had a Thanksgiving to remember.

Oftentimes seniors that are isolated, are forgotten.  It's so important to remember them, to respect and honor them.  When we have so much, it feels wrong to forget them.  Thank you, Carol, for putting this Thanksgiving meal together.  It meant so much to all of us, but especially to the many residents of our community that would have stayed home alone had it not been for Carol and her wonderful team of volunteers.

The Extraordinary Life of Fauja Singh

 From time to time I plan to introduce you to some of the amazing centenarians in our world.  Fauja singh (1911-2025) from Punjab, India, was one such man.  His birth date could not be verified because when he was born, birth certificates were not typically issued in Punjab.  

Fauja Singh was marathon runner.  He was what you might call a late bloomer.  He did not walk until he was five years old, and he began serious marathon running at ag 89.  It was after witnessing the death of his fifth son in a construction accident in 1994 that he returned to his passion, running.  He used to run up to 20 kilometers a day, so he thought running a marathon would be not too much more, but he didn't realize a marathon was 26 miles, not 26 kilometers.

In any event, he completed his first marathon at age 93 in 6:54, 58 minutes quicker than the world best for the 90-plus age bracket.  In  2011, Singh became the first 100 year old man to finish a marathon, completing the Toronto Waterfront Marathon in 8:11:06.

Standing 5'8" tall and weighing only 115 pounds, Singh was built to run.  He ate a simple diet of vegetables, yogurt and milk.  He did not drink or smoke or eat fried foods.  

Fauja Singh died on July 14, 2025, after being hit by an SUV while crossing the road in his native village.  His nickname of Sikh Superman certainly fit him, as he held many running records at various distances.  He really was a super man, and unfortunately met an untimely death at 114.  Who know how much longer he might have lived?