California Has The Largest Number of Centenarians in the U.S.

 The population of centenarians in the U.S. grew by 50% between 2010-2020, and its growth in Southern California is expected to increase another 50% in the next two decades.  Of those that live to 100+, 79% of them are women, so I  thought I'd focus on a 109 year old man who lived in Mira Mesa.

Khen Ngo was born on July 4, 1911, and died just short of his 110th birthday in 2021.  Longevity runs in his family, as all his siblings lived into their 90's.  Khen owned a sewing factory in central Vietnam, then moved to Saigon when the Vietnam war began.  When Saigon fell in 1975, the 64 year old Ngo and his entire family fled in a boat to escape the Viet Cong.  They moved to the Phillipines, then Guam and finally San Diego in 1985.  

Khen considers his biggest accomplishment moving his family from Vietnam to the U.S.  This was a difficult task.  A lot of people didn't make it.  Khen was grandfather to 20 grandchildren and 20 great grandchildren.  He and his wife Sam were married for 67 years.

Ngo credits his physical activity and green and jasmine tea for his longevity.  In his youth he was an active soccer player.  He would tell you that prayer, activity (still walked whenever he could) in his 100's.  He could do everything, according to his children.  His memory has been all there.  

He was honored by the city of Mira Mesa at age 109 not just for his longevity, but also for his contributions to the community.  He died from lung cancer in 2021 after a long life, well lived.

I Just Met What's His Name

 We all go to parties where we are meeting new people and would like to remember their names.  This becomes harder and harder as you age.  Some just say, "I've never been good at remembering names," but this doesn't have to be the way it is.

First, as soon as you meet a new person, respond with "Nice to meet you, Kathy."  Use it again during the conversation.  This locks it into short-term memory.

Next, pick out one thing about them that stands out and link it to their name.  For example, Mary is very short, or John has red hair.  

During conversation, ask a question using their name.  For example, "Where were you born, Henry?"  The more you use a person's name, the more likely lock this into your memory.

As soon as you can after meeting someone new, jot down their name on paper, where you met them and something about them.  This works really well.  I've been doing it for years.  Except for close friends and family, I list everyone in my contact list by what they do or how I know them.  For example, John is listed under Handymen, then his name and who introduced us.  Under Pickleball, I have the names of many pickleball players and how I met them.  

As you age, you may meet someone one day, then not see them for weeks.  They will be so impressed if you remember their name.  They say that it takes using a new word in context 25 times or more to make it part of your vocabulary.  I don't know if you have to use a person's name that many times to remember it, but repetition certainly helps, and connecting them with an activity or a person helps too.

You would laugh if you saw my contact list.  I have categories like housekeepers, doctors, bridge players, golf players, caterers, gardeners, plumbers, computer specialists, etc.  The doctor list is especially long, and I always include who referred me to them.  Hope these tips help you remember the many new people you meet.

Focus on the Positive: What Can You Do?

 As we age, we all become aware of what we can no longer do, things that we just took for granted, and then one day, we realized we couldn't do something anymore.  I'll give you some examples from my own life.  As athletic and physical as I am, I noticed several years ago that I could no longer run.  I couldn't believe it, but it's true.  I don't know what happened, but I cannot run.  I can no longer put on certain pieces of jewelry, ones that require small motor dexterity. I keep dropping one side of the necklace and can't get it hooked.  Jars that I used to open easily are now more difficult.  I also notice a decline in my reflexes.  This is most apparent when I'm playing pickleball, which requires lightening fast reflexes.  My energy level has declined.  I used to go all day and into the night without rest, but no more.  An afternoon nap occasional feels really good.  Finally, I have noticed a decline in my beautiful handwriting.  It used to be perfect.  Now it looks messy.

You have probably experienced these and other changes in physical and mental ability.  We have a tendency to beat ourselves up because we can't do what we used to do.  I have tried to turn that around with positive talk and putting the focus on what I CAN do.

I can walk fast, even though I can't run.  I can buy jewelry with magnetic closings, and have the clasps changed on some of my favorite pieces so I can still wear them.  Jars are still a problem, but I have a rubberized rag that helps me open almost any jar or bottle.  When playing pickleball, I have tried to play a more strategic game, and not rely as much on strength.  Yes, I don't play like I used to, but I have lowered my expectations and feel satisfied that I can compete well for my age.  Energy, well, it just isn't what it used to be, so I try to plan less to do each day rather than feel frustrated and overwhelmed.

When our physical ability becomes less, we need to turn to more sedentary activities, like cards, puzzles, playing an instrument and reading.  We need to adapt activities to current skills, celebrate small wins, and focus on hobbies where we can achieve success.

Learning something new, like a new card game or artistic endeavor, is not only good for your brain, but it gives you a great sense of achievement.  

It's January, and a new year provides you with new opportunities.  Try something new.  Don't set your expectations too high.  Focus on new things you can do.  Be positive.

Are You Lonely Tonight?

 This Elvis Presley song sticks in my head as I think about loneliness, but the fact of the matter is, loneliness is something many seniors face.   The holidays are a special time of year for us all-full of lights, music and memories, but for many seniors, especially those alone, they can feel surprisingly quiet.  Studies show that nearly one in three older adults feel lonely at times, and that isolation can affect not just mood, but overall health.

The good news is that connection makes a real difference.  Getting together with friends for coffee, or joining a community group, or attending a holiday event can lift spirits and bring back a sense of belonging.  Sharing  stories and laughter help remind us that we're not alone-we're part of something bigger.  I always think of the book, The Blue Zones, by Dan Buettner.  In it he discusses the six geographical zones where people live the longest and healthiest.  One of the keys to their longevity is community and socialization.

A few weeks was ago was Thanksgiving, a particularly difficult time for some seniors that no longer have a spouse, a sibling or a parent, and children may live far away.  Here at Ocean Hills some very generous and thoughtful residents put together a Thanksgiving dinner in the big hall for those who were alone.  Interest was overwhelming, and over 100 people attended the dinner.  I've lived here for 10 years and this was the first time a Thanksgiving dinner was arranged for seniors living alone.   My guess is it will become an annual event.  

There were people at the dinner I had never seen before, and many of them said they didn't get out much anymore, but thought it would be nice to have Thanksgiving with others in the community.  They were all so glad they came.  At least for this one afternoon they felt part of a community, had someone to talk to and someone to share a meal with.

It's so important to stay engaged socially, yet so difficult for many.  It's up to us, the social butterflies, to invite shut ins who find it too much trouble to go, to get them out, not just on Thanksgiving, but on a regular basis.  It's good for them, and it sure makes us feel good to get someone to feel part of the community.