How Remarkable Friendships Transform our Lives: Friends of the Good

This is a new book by Demond Martin, who rose from poverty in the south, with a drug addicted step father, to a Harvard Business School graduate and CEO of a large corporation.  The idea of a self made man really doesn't exist.  Demond Martin had lots of help along the way, and friendships that transformed his life.

In the book, he reflects on the people that made his journey possible.  Achievement is communal, someone is always offering you a ladder.  Martin speaks about a teacher that told he could be anything, do anything.  A church leader guided him for many years, sort of as a second father.  Aristotle wrote that there are three types of companionship:  convenience, pleasure and virtue.  Personally, I have many groups of friends and they help me enjoy life in different ways.  I've got intellectual friends, that challenge me and make me think.  I've also got fun friends, that love to have fun, and they keep me from being too serious.

There is an epidemic of loneliness and disconnection, especially among young people.  This is partly created by social media, but whatever the reason, it's not good.  We all need to connect.  We are social beings.

I have not read this book by Demond Martin, but the reviews sound good.  He describes how he got from poverty to success, who helped him along the way, and why we need friends.

The World Is Getting Smaller...Not

 Remember the days when it took days, if not weeks, to get news from around the globe?  Obviously that has all changed, and now, wherever you are in the world, news is available almost instantly.  As we age, we still have news and social media all the time.  In spite of all this, our world gets smaller as we grow older.

Many of the things you were able to do at 50 or 60 years of age are no longer so easy at 70, 80, and 90.  Driving and walking are two skills that when you lose them,  shrink your world.  You can no longer get up and go shopping whenever you want, or take a walk, or walk around a mall.  Plans have to be made in advance, and that's not always easy.  

Everything becomes harder as you age, and the things you do for yourself take longer.  Bathing, dressing, buttoning clothes, tying shoes all take more time.  So you resort to slip on shoes, blouses or shirts without buttons, quick showers (hopefully you've got handrails) instead of long, luxurious baths.  Sometimes you say "It's just too  much trouble to get dressed and go out for dinner.  I'll stay in and eat leftovers or call Uber Eats."

Traveling becomes difficult too, in fact so difficult, that many people I know over 70 don't want to travel or go near an airport anymore.  

For all these reasons, despite the instant access to shopping on line, ordering food on line, watching interesting travel films on line, and getting our news on line, the world is shrinking for many seniors.  Some rarely go out of their homes, others wander a bit in their neighborhood, but since they might not drive or probably don't drive at night anymore, they miss out on much of their community activity.  They may not travel anymore, go to theatre or concerts, so they are spectators rather than participants.

I know it's hard.  I lived with someone in declining health for 6 years, yet we cruised, flew, went to ball games and the movies.  Oh, and we ate out every week!  It was hard for me, and so hard for Ron, but it was worth it.  He participated in life until the very end.  That's what I intend to do, even as things get a little bit harder everyday.